Of megatrons, Obi-Wan, organized sport, & amusement

In a lonely little corner of my room on Tuesday afternoon, I have whiled away an hour each week with a shameful secret. I’ve been keeping power rankings on the NFL to entertain myself. A deliciously subjective enterprise that is based on lists! What’s not to love? And now that Detroit has broken my top 5, I must, like a level 32 Dark Elf Wizard, emerge from the darkness of my geekdom to be exposed before the judgmental eyes of the great unwashed!

The Top Ten
1. Green Bay Packers 5-0
2. New England Patriots 4-1
3. New Orleans Saints 4-1
4. Detroit Lions 5-0
5. Baltimore Ravens 3-1
6. Buffalo Bills 4-1
7. San Diego Chargers 4-1
8. San Francisco 49ers 4-1
9. New York Giants 3-2
10. Oakland Raiders 3-2

Those top eight teams feel pretty definite, but the ninth and tenth slot were up for grabs. The Giants, despite blowing one to the Seahawks? The hot but uneven Raiders? The injured Texans? The Titans who just got a beat down from old Pittsburgh? And what about Pittsburgh?

Middle of the Pack
11. Houston Texans 3-2
12. Tennessee Titans 3-2
13. Washington Redskins 3-1
14. Atlanta Falcons 2-3
15. New York Jets 2-3
16. Pittsburgh Steelers 3-2
17. Chicago Bears 2-3
18. Tampa Bay Buccaneers 3-2
19. Cincinnati Bengals 3-2
20. Dallas Cowboys 2-2
21. Philadelphia Eagles 1-4
22. Carolina Panthers 1-4

The Eagles are just one Redskins loss away from likely falling into the bottom ten. With Vick still dynamic, even after a 4-int day, it’s hard to imagine them there. This whole category still has a lot of potential movement, up or down, depending on the next couple of weeks.

The Shameful Ten
23. Cleveland Browns 2-2
24. Minnesota Vikings 1-4
25. Denver Broncos 1-4
26. Kansas City Chiefs 2-3
27. Seattle Seahawks 2-3
28. Jacksonville Jaguars 1-4
29. Arizona Cardinals 1-4
30. Indianapolis Colts 0-5
31. Miami Dolphins 0-4
32. St. Louis Rams 0-4

Denver’s savior has at last arrived, whether the rest of the country knows it or not. (Hint: that fullback in the picture.) The three winless teams have all suffered injuries as well as general suckiness.

AND FINALLY…

Game of the Week
#8 San Francisco @ #4 Detroit – How strange is that?

Honorable Mentions
#7 Buffalo @ #9 NY Giants – There’s an outside chance this is an all-New York Super Bowl preview. (Surely Fitzpatrick, Jackson, and Stevie Johnson won’t do what Kelley, Thomas, and Reed couldn’t.)
#11 Houston @ #5 Baltimore – I think Houston might be unable to compensate for the losses of Andre Johnson and Mario Williams. They’ll be lucky to finish 8-8, but this game could make me rethink that.

Toilet Bowl of the Week
#30 Indianapolis @ #19 Cincinnati – Sure, the Bengals are 3-2. But they’re the Bengals. Besides, four of the bottom ten teams are on byes this week.

That is all. There’s nothing to see here. Move along.

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